A kind psychology student has asked us the following question
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Gentle Editor,
I have discovered the existence of your site sailing in Internet
to the search news and information that could help me in the
development of a very interesting, in my opinion, theme that I
have chosen for a short dissertation coming up the university
examination on "dynamic psychology."
I am a student of the University of ... and I frequent the faculty
of psychology. I am enrolled in the second year and I have the
intention to pass, if everything is all right, to the triennial
"psychology of the development" study course.
My interest toward the childish and adolescent field is in fact,
already for a long time, deep-rooted in me and also, developing my
personal itinerary along my student career, I have the tendency to
prefer these themes which enriches me. For this reason I dedicate
my remaining leisure - excluding the study and my job as
baby-sitter – to operate as voluntary worker in some infancy
charities which care children suffering from psycho-motor troubles
caused essentially by emotional-affective traumas or improper
family relationships.
An interesting argument is the role of the baby-sitter in our
society. We see in fact an increasing number of families that
chooses this solution to face the parent’s absence due to
working or something else. In a daily paper I have read an article
raising a query about the future of these children, the
development of their personality and the possibility that the
baby-sitter (if she isn’t a cynical and materialist person that
sees the baby only as the object of her job) can become a
substitutive figure of that maternal. And with which consequences?
Embodying this figure, I ha interest to further develop this
argument and therefore I would like you give me some
bibliographical indications or anything else on the subject.
Confiding in your availability and courtesy, Yours Sincerely …
***
Our Answer
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Kind...,
First of all, my congratulations for your ability to pursue
contemporarily study and job. All this does your honour.
Unfortunately we haven’t found any scientific article or manual
concerning specifically the consequences of the baby-sitter’s
figure on the development of child’s personality, therefore,
make you the best of the followings hints, I hope they can be for
you useful to develop your short dissertation.
Introduction
For the child (except the first 12-18 months of life during which
a dyadic mother-child relationship is essential) they aren’t
important the hours spent together with him but, above all, how
his parents meet, behave and establish a relationship with him.
This is true for all the figures who, for a more or less prolonged
time, cooperate with or replace the parents in the rearing
children.
Discussion
The figure of the baby-sitter can have some positive worth because
it introduces in the child’s experiential world a “closer”
approach to a person different from the “family" world. In
this sense the "experiential world" and the
baby-sitter’s persona represent for the child an occasion of
experiencing a new relationship (and therefore the possibility of
experiencing new affections, new emotions, new transferences); all
that can result enriching because it is stimulating the child’s
experiential world. In reality, the baby-sitter's presence "marks"
the absence of the child’s parents but at the same time "mends
it". Certainly the alternating of "presences" and
of "absences" and the dynamic play of the feelings
(love, animosity, ambivalence) favour the psychological
development and prepare the child to loose a condition of great
dependence that we can metaphorically designate as "permanence
of the umbilical cord."
On another plan, there are a few negative factors, likable, I
think, to the followings matters:
1) possible problems connected to a particular baby-sitter’s
personality (serious emotional problems, instability-immaturity,
troubles of the character, lack of "reverie" [incapability
to intuitively understand the unexpressed needs of the infant);
"unconscious impatience" concerning children and/or for
that specific job; a formally correct but substantially "cold"
professional personality;
2) problems linked to the lacking in constant affective
relationship due to two orders of factors:
a) caducity of the affective tie; in fact, it is not positive for
the child to experiment short-lived affective relationships (that
is the child must be preserved from unconsciously foreseeing that
his affective tie, with a person that cares and looks for him in
substitution of his parents, is only temporary and that, sooner or
later, a definitive separation will happen);
b) excessive variation of baby-sitters (if the "umbilical
cord", as unique relationship in the child’s experiential
world, can interfere with his progressive autonomy and maturation,
on the contrary a "whirling" of "sitters" is
excessive in relation to his still weak psycho-sensitive and
experiential "holder" [that means apparatus able to
tolerate prolong, intense or mutable, events, emotions,
attachments, love, hate, ambivalence, frustration]); the (suffered)
necessity of excessive multiple relationships can result
not-proper to the delicate psycho-physical equilibrium of the
child.
3) Factors connected to the particular child’s life-moment when
the baby-sitter’s figure appears. These factors are linked not
only to the child’s age and to the reached
psycho-emotional-cognitive stadium of development (it is not an
identical experiential event for the child if the presence of the
baby-sitter happens within the first one, the second, the third
one, the fourth year of life, etc.) but also to the historical
moment that the parental couple and the whole family nucleus are
living (we mean here to the story that the family and the whole
child’s entourage are going through, the reasons that have
determined the arrival of the baby-sitter, how, also if reputed
necessary, it is lived in the parent’s fantasy the
“intromission" of the baby-sitter’s figure between
themselves and the child.
4) possible problems connected to the lacking in professional
formation of the baby-sitter (in our opinion the baby-sitter
should be a person who possess:
a) theoretical preparation in relation to all the problems above
considered;
b) knowledge about the various stadiums of the child’s
psycho-emotional development;
c) psychological formation on the adult-child relationship;
d) knowledge about the psychodynamic of the family relationships;
e) preparation on the worth of the play for children. From this
point of view the baby-sitter can represent a privileged figure
since, not having any essential educational role, she can have a
fundamental a caring-entertaining role because she can privilege
the ludic moments - we know, fundamental for children (as way of [projective
and introjective] identification, emotional control, anticipative
trying the reality, fantastic realization of the desire etc.)
Final Notation
The experience of the "kibbutz" in Israel it is the
prototype of a community where the children live separated by the
parents (except for the ritual periodic meetings). This unusual
experience-modality of children’s rearing has shown that (since
the adults, to whom the children are entrusted, are all highly
specialized operators) it doesn't generally imply any alteration
in the development and in the maturation of the "children of
the kibbutz" (or rather, so it seems, one can normally
develop and alive in presence of suitable parental substitutes).
Only a problem has been seen: at war, the "young people
native from the kibbutz" showed a notable greater facility to
remain killed in comparison to the young people that had been
normally reared by the family!
I hope to have helped you.
The more Kindest regards,
The Editor of the scientific journal "Psicologia
Dinamica".